The Ultimate Phoenix AZ vacation guide

The Hotel San Carlos in downtown Phoenix

As Friday rolled around, the hands of the clock seemed to tick slower and slower. Worse even, they seemed to be moving backwards! A day without end approaching a weekend without a plan. Nothing to do, nowhere to go. Your family patiently waiting for you to get home to begin a thrilling weekend of yard-work and household chores. Suddenly the phone rings, the voice on the other end is mysterious but serious and you listen intently at first, and then incredulously. The caller informs you that you have inherited a fortune, but before you can claim your windfall there is one provision that must be met: you must travel to Phoenix, Arizona and experience what could only be described as ‘the ultimate Phoenix vacation’ within the next 24 hours. Should you fail; all of the money will go to your mysterious benefactor’s pet cats. In a flash you are out the door, and in a whirlwind of planes, trains and automobiles, you suddenly find yourself and your family smack in the middle of Phoenix Arizona. Where do you begin? Hold on tight, for you are about to embark on The Ultimate Phoenix AZ vacation.

Don’t panic, everything is there right before your eyes. You can do it all, you just need a strategy. Head downtown to Central and Washington. This will be the epicenter from which the exciting shock waves of fun shall emanate. Go west for 4 scenic blocks and enter and explore the Arizona Science Center and all of the fascinating exhibits it has to offer. Right off the bat there will be plenty of fun for the entire family. Outside in the courtyard, explore historic buildings from Phoenix’s colorful past in the Heritage Square. Take a short 1 block walk south of the square and you are standing in the shadow of Chase Field. Go inside the ballpark and watch the Arizona Diamondbacks as they battle it out with your favorite baseball team. You’ll want to hang around with all of the other baseball fans after the game but time is of the essence, there is so much more to see and do, and millions are at stake.

Head north now, towards the Phoenix Convention Center and see what’s going on. The twelfth annual bottle cap and pog collectors’ convention is in town. What a coincidence! Moving on, less than 20 yards away, the Phoenix Symphony Hall has a show going on that you could only see during a whirlwind vacation like this. Now get ready, ‘cause were going to kick it into overdrive. After the show you just attended at Symphony Hall, go out the lobby doors and head west on Adams Street. Go inside the Hyatt Regency Hotel on your right, take the elevator to the top and go inside the only revolving restaurant in downtown; The Compass Restaurant. To make it official, complete at least one, 360 degree revolution. Now go back down to where you started on 2nd street and Adams. Head west again two blocks to the intersection of Central and Adams. Wait for a fresh ‘walk’ sign from the traffic signal. The second it is time to cross, walk to the middle of the intersection, stop and turn to the right (facing north) and now you are standing in the exact same spot Janet Leigh sat in her car as her boss crossed the street in a famous scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho” (1960). Cross the street safely to the west side of Central. Walk one block north and enter the historic and haunted Hotel San Carlos. You’re guaranteed to photograph lots of supernatural orbs and entities, depending on how filthy your camera lens is.

Exit the east doors of the Hotel San Carlos and walk north on Central one block to Van Buren. Having arrived at the northbound Light Rail Station, purchase your light rail pass from the convenient, automated ticket kiosk. Get on the train and take a seat. No, a seat. That large flat space just by the door may look like the luxurious play area of an early Pullman car, but this is where the passengers stow their bicycles. When you arrive at McDowell and Central, exit and mosey over to the Phoenix Art Museum. Take it all in, as much as you can. Now get back on the light rail and continue heading north, but don’t get too comfy. In fact, just go ahead and stand in the bike storage area if it means so much to you. Next stop; Encanto and Central for a visit to the world famous Heard Museum.

The phone rings; your mysterious financier wants to know your progress. You can sense the dander rising in the angry felines as you read off your impressive list. You can now call it a night, and get an early start on your ultimate vacation tomorrow. Your inheritance is in the bag; for in the morning there is a round of golf at any one of first rate Phoenix Golf Courses you have to choose from. The kids have had enough and would like to spend the day at one of the amusement and water parks around Phoenix. Perhaps they just want to spend the day at the Phoenix Zoo. You’re barely getting warmed up as your frustrated executor informs you that you have met all of the provisions of the will. A feeling of deep satisfaction, accomplishment and adventure overwhelms you, as you hang up the phone to the sound of ringing cash registers and hundreds of angry cats.